Was The Sex Amazing!?

I think that at some point in our lives, we all settle in situations that do not honor our strongest and most authentic selves. Why I preface this post by asking you if you've had amazing sex? Because it is a metaphor for life. Just like we all deserve amazing, wild, mind-blowing, soul-quenching sex, we deserve amazing in all categories in our lives. In our work, friendships, daily routines, plans and travels.

Sometimes we settle for less for a few reasons. Maybe we think amazing doesn't exist. Or even worse, that we don't deserve it. I'm saying this because I know these are the reasons. At least they were mine before I knew what was possible to experience in life and more importantly before I realized that I really am awesome and can do awesome things with my life.

So I get it. It takes experience to believe something to be possible. But it also takes believing it's possible for us to experience it. Both pieces are important and both pieces are sealed by our actual initiative to get out there, act and explore with an open mind.

I wanted to write this post because I know that we are all in this together. We all want amazing, soul-quenching experiences. I want this post to be your permission to take action, your permission to dream and your permission to claim your unconditional worthiness.

This means that you are worthy of everything you want now. No prerequisites required. You are worthy and beautiful and enough as you are, now. You don't need to lose weight, be in a relationship, have a certain amount of money or change anything about who you are to be worthy of amazing.

Was the sex amazing? It's hard to know if we don't give ourselves permission to believe in it. It's hard to know if we don't say no to shitty sex so that we can actually make space for amazing sex. But it stops being hard when we decide that we deserve and want better. I posted a quote on Facebook today that goes like this,

"The time will pass anyway. You can either spend it creating the life you want or spend it living the life you don't want. The choice is yours." 

I know, it sounds like a tall order, but the thing is that this is your life. And it's not going to last forever. So it's worth the risk, work and discipline when you are actually creating the kind of experiences you want to be living. Either way the time will pass so we might as well make sure the sex is amazing.

Love Your Imperfections

It's been a little while since I've blogged and I've missed it. So I am back with another heart-filled post and it feels good.

Today I want to talk about imperfection and why you need to fall in love with the part of you that fucks up, falls down and gets back up. Yup, I said fall in love. And I know it's possible because I started this journey about three years ago and it's been the most rewarding and fulfilling work I've done in my personal growth.

Our imperfect self is our authentic self. If we want to shine, grow and feel beautiful, this is it.

I know for a fact that if I never let myself fall apart and learned to love every messy bit of myself, I wouldn't be having the kind of perspective-opening and heart-expanding experiences that I do. You know why? Because being imperfect is liberating. It takes away a lot of the barriers that get in the way of living through our passion, love and power.

Embracing our imperfection is the doorway out of isolation and into living wholeheartedly. 

Let me ask you to do something with me now. Take a moment to explore your imperfections- what parts of yourself have you maybe held back out of shame or the belief that in that part you couldn't shine? Because you were afraid that if you showed that part of yourself, it would somehow not be okay or make you "less than."

Well let me take a moment to challenge that belief.
What if you suspended your judgement for a moment and leaned into those very parts with love?
What if you fully embraced those imperfections? What if you realized that those parts make you fucking awesome?

Our imperfections make us human. They make you who you are. And being who you are is insanely attractive.

Over the past few months, I've had a few opportunities to own my story. All of it. My imperfections, messy bits and vulnerability. Those moments have been both powerful and inspiring. Why? Because owning our story gives us the power to write the next chapter. It empowers us.

A few weeks ago I was at a leadership conference. I found myself speaking about mental health and the challenges we face when we go through dark times. To a public audience. Owning my story took courage, but I also got to speak about how we move through these dark times and find our strength and light in them. It was a life-changing moment.

And you know what? I've been realizing that we all want to be our imperfect, human selves, but the pressure we put on ourselves to be this impressive, achieving person gets in the way. Our culture often sets the bar to this way of being. "Do it all and make it look effortless" is the message.Well fuck that. Seriously!

When we hide our imperfections on our chase for excellence so that we can please people who we don't even know, we lose our spirit. It's exhausting and soul-sucking.  

Luckily, there is another way.

We have the choice to be all that we are. Yes, it takes being a bit of a rebel, but in being who we are, we give others the permission to do the same. We give each other permission to be free.

The truth is that perfection had nothing to do with greatness or being our best selves. Striving for greatness is about personal growth, while perfection is about pleasing other people. Totally different ball game folks.

At the end of the day, it comes down to the choice we make to be real. Are we willing to be uncomfortable and take of the mask? I think in a world where our purpose here is to connect, its worth the risk.

Because in our willingness to be imperfect, we open up the necessary space for greater connection and becoming our strongest, most alive and authentic selves.